We all do it… judge people. It’s a horrid routine that us humans have perfected. But do you ever look at someone, and instead of judge them, think, “Are they judging me?” This thought crosses through my mind more than I care to confess. Maybe it’s because of my low self-worth. Maybe it’s because this is the way that society has taught me to think. Maybe, just maybe, said Joe-shmo is actually judging me and my human instincts are actually on point.
We are taught at an early age to see things in black and white; good and bad; right and wrong, but as we mature, things turn grey. The point in my life where things greyed is a time that, at one point, I tried my damnedest to block out of my memory completely. Why, you ask? Because I have experienced things that no other living soul should. I am not trying to marginalize anyone else’s life experiences. I am simply saying: what I have endured is not something that I would wish on my greatest enemy.
If you can’t guess, that’s me. Adorable, right? Just another girl next door. For those of you who don’t know me, what do you see? A girl who is happy? Maybe someone who enjoys life to the fullest? A girl who hasn’t struggled one day in her life? Don’t worry if that’s what you see. I make snap judgments about others myself.
I have struggled. I have suffered. I have transitioned. And now….? I feel like I am on the right path, heading the right direction, but there’s something missing. What? I’m not sure.
I have always wanted to try my hand in writing (no pun intended, but that one is pretty good). I have been told, mainly in the education realm, that I am a gifted writer. Often times, I would start a diary, just to leave more pages blank than not. Is that a reflection of my quality of commitment? I have no idea. But I wanted to give this blog thing a shot. Not sure if anyone will actually read it, but, here goes nothing…
I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.