Is It Just a Phase? (Oh God I Hope So…)

There are dozens, if not hundreds, but probably thousands of memes dedicated to a social interaction that nearly everyone has experienced at some point and instead of describing it to you, I will share some of those memes:

Well that was a fail. Apparently I suck at looking for ‘specific’ memes regarding awkward exchanges. How fitting. Guess I’ll be explaining it after all.

You know when you’re in a social situation and a stranger says something to you and you overthink in a matter of milliseconds and what you respond with either a) doesn’t make sense in context or b) isn’t even English..? Yeah. That happens to me…. a lot. Typically I make a fool of myself then I spend the rest of the day thinking about it, go to bed and forget it ever happened. Well I put myself through one of these awful exchanges last weekend and the embarrassment I feel on a daily basis as a result is ridiculous. Maybe if I share it here it will help me off-load the memory of how moronic I really am.

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As an early birthday present for Fella, I took him (and my parents) to a local dinner theater preforming a tribute to Johnny Cash. I’ve never considered myself a fan of his per se, but Fella likes his music and my parents grew up listening to him, so I figured it would be an evening well spent and I was not wrong.

The actor that played Johnny was a young guy; close to my age if not a bit older and he was a looker. What can I say? I have a thing for strong jaw lines and dark hair.

At the end of the show as patrons were exiting the theater, the cast members were lined up outside in the lobby and were shaking hands with guests as they left. The first hands I shook were that of the women that portrayed the different women in Cash’s life. I told them how amazing their performances were and thanked them for a great show. Then it came to the not man himself: Johnny Cash.

I shook has hand and looked him in the eyes trying to figure out what to say. Before I had a moment to speak, he said, “Thanks for coming out this evening.” The less socially awkward person would reply with something like: “No, thank you!” or “It was a great show.” You know, an effortless exchanging of words…

Well not me! I responded with: “Thanks. You too.” I mean come on! That back and forth has been replaying in my mind over and over for days now. How am I that awkward?

Last time something like this happened I was at Walmart. I needed to ask a question about paint, so I walked down a couple aisles and found a man wearing a navy blue shirt. I asked him my question from the end of the aisle and his response: “I don’t work here.” I apologized and left the store. Yup. I dipped out without getting anything I needed because I was that mortified.

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I’ve since shared my recent horror story with Fella and asked him if I were ever that inept around him before we started dating and he said he didn’t recall me fumbling with my words, but I did trip pretty regularly in the early months; enough to warrant him saving me a few occasions. One was even tripping while exiting an elevator and he legit caught me mid-fall in front of our colleagues. That was fun… not!

At this point I know I’m a walking hazard to myself and others, but that doesn’t mean it makes the experiences any easier. As I stated in a previous post:

Grace by definition, for me is:

… and I’ve come to terms with it.

This evidently goes for conversing with others as well. Even more so if I find them attractive.