Haunting Memories

Today marks 6 years since the worst day of my life. On this day in 2011, I was raped at knife point by a man who made my life a living hell for months prior. On this day every year, I can’t help but feel sorrowful. I tend to have panic attacks, I cry a lot, sometimes, I can’t even bring myself to leave the house, and I hate it all. I hate that he has had that kind of impact on my life. I hate that I constantly look over my shoulder when I’m alone. I hate that I don’t trust people as much as I used to. I hate Continue reading

Oh Lord…

If you have been keeping up with my blog, then you know what I have been through (for the rest of you, you might want to start at the beginning). Like my disclaimer says on my sidebar:

I have lived through experiences that have shaped me into the often cynical, never hateful, magnanimous, shattered loner of a young woman that I am. 

Now before I delve deep into this post, Continue reading

Soulmate vs. Red String of Fate

You know that feeling you get when you slide into your favorite pair of broken-in jeans?… it may not be perfect, but nothing else could ever come close; it’s comforting; it’s familiar… If there was a word used to perfectly describe this sensation, it too, would describe the relationship I now have with the Bloke, a.k.a. my Fella. Continue reading

Misery Loves Company

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

From the outside looking in, I can see how this situation can look pretty bad: a married man and a woman in a committed relationship struck up a friendship, started texting, they ‘got caught cheating,’ the boyfriend broke up with the girlfriend, the married man left his wife to be with the girl resulting in confusion and heart break. It’s rather easy to believe this story when it’s being shoved down your throat (thanks to a certain someone…) I promise you, that’s not what happened. Continue reading

You’re a Whore… Wanna Get Married?

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

The day following Boyfriend and my breakup, I met up with the Bloke during lunch to fill in the blanks of what happened. After numerous apologies from him saying he felt guilty of what he had caused, I assured him that my relationship had been over way before the night prior; I was just too blind to see it.

He began to empathize with me, telling me that he and his wife had been rather distant and that he had wanted to talk to her about it, but couldn’t find the words. Continue reading

Done.

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

Maybe things would change once he’s done with school? He’s just under a lot of stress… 

I started making excuses to myself as to why Boyfriend seemed so distant. I accepted being the so-called ‘doormat’ in the relationship: the perpetual giver, seldom a receiver. I needed to find an outlet; something to keep me busy while Boyfriend had a life full of student functions and military trainings. It was almost like a Godsend when a coworker invited me out to play tennis with him and others. I had never really played tennis, but I’m always up for trying new things. Continue reading

We Made It Work

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

I can hear your thoughts… So what happened with you and Boyfriend? How did you move on? 

Slowly but surely, we picked things back up from where we started: we would go on dates, he would come spend time with my family at family game nights, and I started attending church services with him at Mrs. Saintly’s church. We fell in love all over again and felt that this love was so much stronger than our previous love. We felt as though our bond was indestructible having survived what we had. Apologies were exchanged and we were looking to the future. Continue reading