Haunting Memories

Today marks 6 years since the worst day of my life. On this day in 2011, I was raped at knife point by a man who made my life a living hell for months prior. On this day every year, I can’t help but feel sorrowful. I tend to have panic attacks, I cry a lot, sometimes, I can’t even bring myself to leave the house, and I hate it all. I hate that he has had that kind of impact on my life. I hate that I constantly look over my shoulder when I’m alone. I hate that I don’t trust people as much as I used to. I hate Continue reading

Misery Loves Company

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

From the outside looking in, I can see how this situation can look pretty bad: a married man and a woman in a committed relationship struck up a friendship, started texting, they ‘got caught cheating,’ the boyfriend broke up with the girlfriend, the married man left his wife to be with the girl resulting in confusion and heart break. It’s rather easy to believe this story when it’s being shoved down your throat (thanks to a certain someone…) I promise you, that’s not what happened. Continue reading

You’re a Whore… Wanna Get Married?

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

The day following Boyfriend and my breakup, I met up with the Bloke during lunch to fill in the blanks of what happened. After numerous apologies from him saying he felt guilty of what he had caused, I assured him that my relationship had been over way before the night prior; I was just too blind to see it.

He began to empathize with me, telling me that he and his wife had been rather distant and that he had wanted to talk to her about it, but couldn’t find the words. Continue reading

Done.

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

Maybe things would change once he’s done with school? He’s just under a lot of stress… 

I started making excuses to myself as to why Boyfriend seemed so distant. I accepted being the so-called ‘doormat’ in the relationship: the perpetual giver, seldom a receiver. I needed to find an outlet; something to keep me busy while Boyfriend had a life full of student functions and military trainings. It was almost like a Godsend when a coworker invited me out to play tennis with him and others. I had never really played tennis, but I’m always up for trying new things. Continue reading

When Will It End?

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

So I had my day in court and justice was served. As you can guess, a handful of people did not agree with the sentencing (as with most), but I would have never guessed that those reservations would be brought directly to my attention.

Yes. Someone had the gull to call me out; to tell me that I lied under oath; that I ruined his life by not telling the truth. That someone was someone whom I had never met before. She only knew about me from what she was told. That someone was Continue reading

He Messed with the Wrong Girl

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

It was now time to lawyer up. I met up with my lawyer and my Guardian Angel and I explained everything that had happened including the first time he raped me months before. They consoled me when I cried. They reminded me that I was strong. They encouraged me when I started to doubt myself. If it weren’t for the two of them, I’m not sure justice would have ever been served; at least not in my case.

For those of you unfamiliar with court cases, they can take months, years even, to ever be completed. From the day he pulled a knife on me to the sentencing hearing, my case lasted 8 months. Continue reading

Are You SANE?

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

So I told my story. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, but I knew at this point that he couldn’t hurt me. Boyfriend had already cut ties, so I had nothing left to lose. After I was finished telling my story to the officer, she asked me one question: “Do you want to press charges?”

Without hesitation, I said yes. He made me suffer for long enough. He needs to pay for what he put me through, but not just that; he needed to be locked up so he couldn’t do this to anyone else. She pressed that if I went through with it,  there would be a trial Continue reading

This Is It. No More.

I’m writing out my life in a timeline, so to experience my story the way its supposed to be told, start at I Was That Girl In School… then proceed chronologically by post date.

Boyfriend is back. All is right with the world. He said he would leave me alone. He said he wouldn’t tell. He said…

“YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DONE, DIDN’T YOU? I LIED. COME SEE ME.”

I can’t. I won’t. Boyfriend will find out. “No.” Was all I responded with.

“DON’T MAKE THIS HARDER ON YOURSELF THAN IT HAS TO BE. YOU DON’T WANT TO WAKE MY DEAMONS, DO YOU? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING YET. ” Continue reading