Paul over at The Captain’s Speech is a wannabe teacher who, instead of instilling terror in his students, delights his followers with pop quizzes, of which there is no set grading scale. He allots points based on gut feeling and is left with a winner. Here are my answers to this round of questions. T, consider this your challenge.
THE 10 QUESTIONS
1. You and a stranger are stuck in an elevator for three hours. After how many minutes would you tell them your name?
Answer: Null. I’m not one to proffer my information to anyone, especially to strangers. I would not initiate such formalities, but if the stranger told me his/her name, I’m not about to respond with, “Oh that’s cool…” Would I give them my real name? Probably not. Usually I tell people that I’m interacting with on a temporary basis to call me Red since that’s the color of my hair and it’s easy for them to remember.
2. You’re the first person to enter the movie theatre. Which seat do you choose and why?
Answer: The movie theaters in my area have one main entrance/exit to the theater, so I choose to sit slightly off center away from the side closest to the entrance and 3-4 rows down from the back. I don’t like when people have to scoot by or even be around me in general and I find that most people will either a) sit in the exact middle or b) sit closest to the end with the entrance/exit because they either i) are too lazy to walk any further or ii) know they will likely need to step out of the theater for whatever reason. I can also easily move down to the center if no one else fills in without making too much commotion.
3. If you were to navigate a giant maze with one celebrity, who would it be and why do you think you’d work well together?
Answer: Mark Ruffalo. He’s silly and if we end up stuck in the maze forever, at least I couldn’t be upset about it; he’s an absolute schmuck! I’m also not physically attracted to him, so I wouldn’t get distracted from the matter at hand. Plus he’s an Avenger, so that means something, right?
4. Eggs can be cooked in many different ways. Pick one and build a meal around it. What is included in that meal?
Answer: Deviled Eggs (without the frills–just the egg and filling) with ribs dripping in sweet, tangy sauce, lightly salted sweet potato fries with marshmallow fluff to dip them in, Mexican street style corn on the cob, and some delectably tart lemon bars for dessert.
5. Select the task you’d be able to complete the fastest and explain why:
A) Blow up (with your mouth) and tie 3 balloons
or
B) Pop 150 balloons with a thumbtack
Answer: A. Early in my teen years my parents and I were in a motorcycle club. Every fall we would attend a mass gathering of other club chapters at an agreed upon location for a weekend of absolute havoc. In the pandemonium there would be scheduled events such as a talent shows, banquets, a massive scavenger hunt, and relay races. In one such relay race one of the tasks was to race down to one end of the room, blow up and tie a balloon, and then pop it by any means necessary before sprinting back to tag in your teammate to repeat the process. I was surprisingly quick with the blowing up and tying the balloon, but the popping part–not so much. I tried every method I could think of including sitting, stepping, and bear-hugging that damn balloon, but it was essentially impenetrable. I put on such a show for all in attendance that people were doubled over in laughter at my ineptitude at balloon bursting. I can only imagine my struggle with popping 150 of them suckers.
6. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is a talk show hosted by Jerry Seinfeld. Using the same format for the title (Ex. Poodles on Patios Getting Crumbs), what would be the name of your talk show?
Answer: Seahorses in Slippers Drinking Whiskey. The premise would be me interviewing Mr. Mom-type men discussing the changing gender ‘norms’ and their experiences as stay-at-home dads while getting progressively intoxicated, but in a sophisticated manor; think Nanny 911 mixed with Drunk History.
7. Arthur is an animated educational television series for children. What are 5 television shows you watched as a child?
Answer: Rocket Power; CatDog; Rugrats; The Wild Thornberrys; All That
8. Pillows provide support and help keep our upper body aligned during sleep. What is the strangest place you’ve ever fallen asleep? Tell the story, if there is one.
Answer: Inside of a closet inside of a camper. I was invited to go on an all girls camping weekend with my mom and her friends. One of the friends brought her 5th wheel camper and insisted that she would sleep on the sleeper sofa and mom and I can share the bedroom. This was my first experience sleeping with a lawn mower and I just couldn’t take it, so I grabbed as many pillows as I could find and an extra blanket and made myself a nest inside of the closet of the bedroom. Luckily I’m only 5ft 2in so I can fit into a myriad of tight spaces; a 5ftx2ft closet with the door shut is one of them.
9. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is a song by the band, Tears for Fears. If you could be in charge of anything, what would it be?
Answer: I would like to be the Chief Executive Inspector for the naming of all nail polishes. If you are uneducated, most nail polish colors are given names most of which are puns pertaining to the color they are. I’ve seen some really great names, but I’ve also seen many that I could have made better.
10. Your closet is a portal to a new “location” (think: wardrobe to Narnia), where does it lead to? What do you see?
Answer: Scene-as you make your way through winter coats and motorcycle gear you are greeted with the smell of a campfire just before you see a towering mountain with a waterfall crescendoing down into a pool of the clearest blue water you’ve ever seen. After taking in the sights, sounds, smells and feeling the slightest chill in the air, you make your way down a well trodden path to a cabin welcoming guests in for some hot chocolate and funnel cake.
BONUS QUESTION
1. Please enter the correct 6-digit passcode to successfully escape this quiz.
3-7-2-2-7-3 (escape spelled out T9 style of course)
