Adventures Followed by A Rude Awakening

I thought I saw my face on the side of a milk carton and thought it was a good time to pop in and say: I’ve not gone missing. I’m here… lurking.

I like to read other blog posts chronologically and because of my recent trip (!), I’ve had to go through a week’s worth of blogs and at that point, I feel like it’s a bit weird to start liking and commenting on such posts. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s just how my brain works.

I have many an update, but no one update is enough for it’s own post, so I figured I’d just share a rundown of what’s been going on. Continue reading

Feliz Quizmas Primero!

He’s at it again folks; stirring the pot to rile up this dysfunctional blogging family of ours. ‘Tis the season for family disputes I suppose. Paul has brought us this festive quiz to ring in the holiday season and round out this year of competition. Let’s get right into it, shall we?

Continue reading

Making My Debut

If you blog long enough you find yourself apart of a strange online community; it’s only strange because everyone is super nice and you have support out the wazoo. And then people like Paul make a post pitting bloggers against one anther in a wacky but wonderful way, and up until this point I have remained a spectator. I have now donned my writers cap and am equipped with my rainbow backlit keyboard to participate in this round of Paul’s infamous quizzes.

The Captain’s Quiz 5: Golden Rings

THE 10 QUESTIONS

1. The Fab Five were a group of all-freshmen starters for the 1991 Michigan men’s basketball team. What is something you immediately excelled at? Sports! Though I only participated in high school volleyball, any time I played a new sport I took to it like Seabiscuit to a racetrack. Often times in PE class my skills would warrant a teacher asking if I’d ever given any thought to participating in XYZ because I “had a knack” for XYZ. Some of the teams I was halfheartedly approached to participate in included basketball, lacrosse, cheer, and softball. I even took activities like dodge ball a tad too serious resulting in a knee injury that to this day gives me problems. Shifted kneecap anyone…?

2. One Direction was a boy band that eventually went in five directions. If you were in a five person band, would you be the first one to leave? Why or why not? I’m assuming the exit would be from sudden stardom of one bandmate in particular and with that caveat… I would definitely not be the first to leave. I’m not cut of the same material super stars are made of. I’m more of a perpetual backup musician; someone who cares more about the art than the fame. Fun fact: I was taught how to play the drums by a friend who’s dad was the drummer for a band that used to open for Styx. Okay… it may not be that fun of a fact, but I think it’s pretty cool.

3. Five Alive is a line of various fruit juice blends. Create a new drink and include any number (other than five) in its name. Tell me about the new drink. All Eight (Make It Great). As kids my brother and I would often times mix all of the flavors of soda from the fountain at whatever fast food restaurant we were at. There were often times 8 different options to choose from and no drink was ever the same because you never measured out your concoction; you just went with intuition. Now that we are of drinking age, maybe in the future we could add a shot of alcohol to make it great… 😉

4. In the mid-2000s, WWE Superstar John Cena had a weekly segment on WWE.com called, “Five Questions With The Champ” where he answered fan questions. If you were to send a celebrity five questions, who would it be and what would you ask?

Dear Mrs. Clause:

  1. How do you feel to have your identity permanently linked to your husband to the point of not even having a first name; an indefinite supporting character if you will?
  2. Does it bother you how obsessed your husband is with children and children-like beings or that one of his many taglines is a derogatory synonym for a female with lose morals?
  3. Do you have a favorite reindeer and why is it Vixen?
  4. Did you choose the stay-at-home wife life or did the stay-at-home wife life chose you?
  5. Be honest–have you always fetishized large, burly men wearing furry red suits?

5. The San Francisco 49ers have won five Super Bowls, with their last one coming in 1995. What is something from 1995 that you wish we still had and/or did in 2021? Coincidentally my cousin recently posted on Facebook a flyer that listed how things used to be in 1995 that included things like the everyday cost of living. Gas prices were just over $1, the average cost of a house was $113,000, and movie tickets were under $5. Now that I’m an adult and I make my own monies, I would love to be able to fill up my gas tank for less than $20 and not avoid the movie theater in fear of having to remortgage my house (which might I add is worth every penny with or without inflation) to afford the ticket as well as a stop at the concession counter. Or maybe I’m looking at this all wrong. I was a mere toddler in 1995 and my parents paid for every want or need I had. Maybe that’s what I miss; having someone else paying…

6. When you type, “Where are the” into Google, what is the fifth autocomplete option? Where are the Maldives? What can I say… I like to search vacation destinations in my spare time.

7. The TV show, Breaking Bad, had five seasons. What is your favourite TV show and how many seasons does it have? This is such a hard question because I have a three-way tie for my favorite TV show. They are each different genres, so to say one is better than another is inconceivable, so I will have to respond with the show that I’ve watched the most: Gilmore Girls with 7 seasons + a bonus Netflix special with 4 episodes. My other favorites are House and Community.

8. The PlayStation 5 has experienced supply issues due to a chip shortage. What are your top five potato chip flavours?

  1. Lime & Cracked Pepper by Miss Vickie’s
  2. Prawn Cocktail by Walkers (UK)
  3. Cheddar & Sour Cream by Ruffles
  4. Southern Biscuits & Gravy by Lays (limited edition c. 2015)
  5. Salt & Vinegar by Lays

9. “Remember, remember, the 5th of November” is a line from the movie, V for Vendetta. What do you remember about November 5, 2021? Well it was 5 days before my husband’s birthday, so at some point that day I mentioned to him that I really wanted to give him his birthday presents and he told me I had to wait. He’s so mean to me!

10. How would you explain the “high five” hand gesture to someone who doesn’t know what it is? Alright. Get really excited. Get hyped. Now throw one of your hands in the air like you have a question for a teacher, but it’s not really a question about the curriculum, but instead you really, really, have to pee and you need his/her permission; channel that urgency. Now I’m going to do the same thing right in front of you at the exact same time and with both of our hands totally open, we shove them together in the air with the goal of making them clap–the louder the better. Experienced high fivers will use opposite hands and unspoken ques to optimize the process, thus ensuring a deafening clapping sound. Never refuse an invitation for a high five unless you have very good reason; this is considered poor high five etiquette.

BONUS QUESTIONS

1. If you could be five-years-old for the next 24 hours, what would you do? EAT ALL THE THINGS!! Since reaching adulthood I’ve found that certain foods cause certain ailments that once upon a time never occurred. Some things on the menu would include a slice of pepperoni pizza from local pizzeria, Benny Marzano’s (where their slices are as big as one’s noggin), 2 7eleven chilidogs, all the cookies, a hot chocolate with too many marshmallows, an entire box of Captain Crunch, a Dairy Queen banana split, totchos (nachos but with tater tots instead of tortilla chips) fully loaded–sans jalapenos, with avocado, a shot of Jack Daniels American Honey (to see if I was allergic to alcohol at that age too–purely for scientific research of course), and a half dozen Krispy Kreme original glaze crème filled doughnuts.

2. How many five-letter words can you type in two minutes? Do it, but don’t share the words with me. Your answer to this question will only be the number of words. 29

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is img_20211102_075552.jpg3. Tell me the story behind the fifth photo in your phone (or camera, computer, photo album). My husband is from England and this year he became a U.S. citizen which means he was able to vote in his first ever U.S. election a couple weeks ago. I obviously had to capture the momentous occasion with a quick picture of him flashing his “I voted” sticker. Golly I love him! ❤

Pop Quiz

Paul over at The Captain’s Speech is a wannabe teacher who, instead of instilling terror in his students, delights his followers with pop quizzes, of which there is no set grading scale. He allots points based on gut feeling and is left with a winner. Here are my answers to this round of questions. T, consider this your challenge.

THE 10 QUESTIONS

1. You and a stranger are stuck in an elevator for three hours. After how many minutes would you tell them your name?

Answer: Null. I’m not one to proffer my information to anyone, especially to strangers. I would not initiate such formalities, but if the stranger told me his/her name, I’m not about to respond with, “Oh that’s cool…” Would I give them my real name? Probably not. Usually I tell people that I’m interacting with on a temporary basis to call me Red since that’s the color of my hair and it’s easy for them to remember.

2. You’re the first person to enter the movie theatre. Which seat do you choose and why?

Answer: The movie theaters in my area have one main entrance/exit to the theater, so I choose to sit slightly off center away from the side closest to the entrance and 3-4 rows down from the back. I don’t like when people have to scoot by or even be around me in general and I find that most people will either a) sit in the exact middle or b) sit closest to the end with the entrance/exit because they either i) are too lazy to walk any further or ii) know they will likely need to step out of the theater for whatever reason. I can also easily move down to the center if no one else fills in without making too much commotion.

3. If you were to navigate a giant maze with one celebrity, who would it be and why do you think you’d work well together?

Answer: Mark Ruffalo. He’s silly and if we end up stuck in the maze forever, at least I couldn’t be upset about it; he’s an absolute schmuck! I’m also not physically attracted to him, so I wouldn’t get distracted from the matter at hand. Plus he’s an Avenger, so that means something, right?

4. Eggs can be cooked in many different ways. Pick one and build a meal around it. What is included in that meal?

Answer: Deviled Eggs (without the frills–just the egg and filling) with ribs dripping in sweet, tangy sauce, lightly salted sweet potato fries with marshmallow fluff to dip them in, Mexican street style corn on the cob, and some delectably tart lemon bars for dessert.

5. Select the task you’d be able to complete the fastest and explain why:
A) Blow up (with your mouth) and tie 3 balloons
or
B) Pop 150 balloons with a thumbtack

Answer: A. Early in my teen years my parents and I were in a motorcycle club. Every fall we would attend a mass gathering of other club chapters at an agreed upon location for a weekend of absolute havoc. In the pandemonium there would be scheduled events such as a talent shows, banquets, a massive scavenger hunt, and relay races. In one such relay race one of the tasks was to race down to one end of the room, blow up and tie a balloon, and then pop it by any means necessary before sprinting back to tag in your teammate to repeat the process. I was surprisingly quick with the blowing up and tying the balloon, but the popping part–not so much. I tried every method I could think of including sitting, stepping, and bear-hugging that damn balloon, but it was essentially impenetrable. I put on such a show for all in attendance that people were doubled over in laughter at my ineptitude at balloon bursting. I can only imagine my struggle with popping 150 of them suckers.

6. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is a talk show hosted by Jerry Seinfeld. Using the same format for the title (Ex. Poodles on Patios Getting Crumbs), what would be the name of your talk show?

Answer: Seahorses in Slippers Drinking Whiskey. The premise would be me interviewing Mr. Mom-type men discussing the changing gender ‘norms’ and their experiences as stay-at-home dads while getting progressively intoxicated, but in a sophisticated manor; think Nanny 911 mixed with Drunk History.

7. Arthur is an animated educational television series for children. What are 5 television shows you watched as a child?

Answer: Rocket Power; CatDog; Rugrats; The Wild Thornberrys; All That

8. Pillows provide support and help keep our upper body aligned during sleep. What is the strangest place you’ve ever fallen asleep? Tell the story, if there is one.

Answer: Inside of a closet inside of a camper. I was invited to go on an all girls camping weekend with my mom and her friends. One of the friends brought her 5th wheel camper and insisted that she would sleep on the sleeper sofa and mom and I can share the bedroom. This was my first experience sleeping with a lawn mower and I just couldn’t take it, so I grabbed as many pillows as I could find and an extra blanket and made myself a nest inside of the closet of the bedroom. Luckily I’m only 5ft 2in so I can fit into a myriad of tight spaces; a 5ftx2ft closet with the door shut is one of them.

9. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is a song by the band, Tears for Fears. If you could be in charge of anything, what would it be?

Answer: I would like to be the Chief Executive Inspector for the naming of all nail polishes. If you are uneducated, most nail polish colors are given names most of which are puns pertaining to the color they are. I’ve seen some really great names, but I’ve also seen many that I could have made better.

10. Your closet is a portal to a new “location” (think: wardrobe to Narnia), where does it lead to? What do you see?

Answer: Scene-as you make your way through winter coats and motorcycle gear you are greeted with the smell of a campfire just before you see a towering mountain with a waterfall crescendoing down into a pool of the clearest blue water you’ve ever seen. After taking in the sights, sounds, smells and feeling the slightest chill in the air, you make your way down a well trodden path to a cabin welcoming guests in for some hot chocolate and funnel cake.

BONUS QUESTION

1. Please enter the correct 6-digit passcode to successfully escape this quiz.

3-7-2-2-7-3 (escape spelled out T9 style of course)

Pint-sized and Full of Rage

My parents came down for a visit a few weeks back and we spent an evening sitting on the screened porch by the fire pit sharing stories about our pasts. One of the questions that was posed was: What is your earliest memory? For me, my earliest memory is a mix of adventure, pain, frustration, and now, some comedic relief. Continue reading

Ready for Spooky Season

I’m over summer. I got my fill and I’m ready for the seasonal change. Is it just me?

I’ve already started listening to my Halloween music and burning fall-scented candles. I’m just waiting for the temperature to fall below 70 degrees so I can break out my scarves and sweaters.

Continue reading

Don’t Forget Your Tutu

What… you don’t have a birthday tutu? Huh… weird.

Hello and welcome to my blogging birthday party hosted by me, the hostess with the mostest, the birthday gal!

Now before you make yourself comfortable, I have to ask that you make your way to the nearest sink and wash your hands; we are in the midst of a global pandemic–can’t be too careful. While you wash your grubby mitts, you must sing happy birthday (x2) to me, Bex, loud enough for me to hear. I’ve been singing it to myself for the past week and a half and my hands are practically sparkling. Feel free to continue this process after today.

Continue reading

30 Questions You Say…?

1. What was your favorite childhood book? Go dog. Go!

2. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Rocket Power

3. What book did you read in secret as a kid? Next question…

4. What album and CD do you love and know by heart? So many, but I’m going to say Avril Lavigne’s Complicated.

5. What book did you hate as a student? George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four-Bleh! Continue reading

My Really Shitty Date

To continue on from my previous post, another fun fact about me is when I have spare time I clean. Or at least that’s what happened the other morning. I got ready for work and had some extra time, so I broke out the Windex and cleaned a mirror. Once the mirror was all shiny and dust-free, I caught a glimpse of 2 white hairs sticking straight up in the forefront of my luscious locks. Just in case you don’t know, I’M ONLY 27!

Continue reading